So many things are twice as hard with twins, but at least one thing is easier: Twins usually feel a closeness with each other from day one, which means you don't have to work as hard to encourage a bond between them.
Lately I have been hearing so many stories from people about how kids, especially girls, can be so mean at such an early age. It makes me grateful that my twin girls have each other. I am glad they will always have a friend they can trust and count on. I think it is important to remind them of the special bond they share.
I think making sure all my kids love and respect each other will encourage them to have strong relationships with each other later in life. My mom made this a priority—when any of her kids fought, she would remind us "You are family and will always have each other. Treat each other with love and respect, always." I realize now how much that contributed to my having strong relationships with my siblings as an adult, which I am very grateful for.
With my kids, I:
• Never let them be mad at each other for too long.
• Make sure they apologize when they hurt one of their siblings—and make sure they forgive when a sibling hurts them.
• Constantly remind them they are family and that will never change.
Frequently reminding my kids to be good to one another may bother them sometimes, but I know it will sink in one day, the way it did with me and my siblings. At least that's my wish, because I feel it will make the tough times a lot easier.
Existing Twin Bond
With my twin girls, I feel like the bond is already there, so it makes my job a lot easier. Of course, I still encourage their bond at times in hopes that they will remain close even during those difficult teenage years. I want them to realize how cool it is to have a built-in best friend. Now that they are 5, my girls can understand a little better how fun and unique it is to be a twin.
My twins will be starting kindergarten soon. They will most likely be separated in school, which makes me sad. But I know that even if they are in different classrooms, they will continue to look out for each other.
Want more Martiza? Check out her many musings, and check back often as the list will grow!