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What No One Tells You

Written by The Twin Source
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Twin Mom Carrie talks to mother of twins Jerrica Adams, creator of a Facebook community for twin parents, about the amazing network she nurtures every day.


Hello, Jerrica! It is truly a pleasure to interview you. Ever since I found your Facebook community, "Pregnant with Twins or Parents of Twins," I have been so fascinated by the variety of questions asked and answered by your audience of real twin parents. People give great, compassionate advice that can instantly provide comfort or helpful tips.

Hi there! It's so very nice to be here talking with you. I never thought the Facebook community would get so much attention. It is full of amazing twin parents!

What inspired you to create the Facebook community, and how does it work?

I created the community about a month after finding out I was pregnant with twins. Like many women who learn they are expecting twins, I began researching everything I could and searching for real mothers of multiples whom I could talk with and get real advice from. I had no luck finding the type of place I was looking for, so I decided I should make my own. That way, I would be able to help myself and others. I figured if I was looking for such a place, there had to be other women who were too.

Here's how it works: Fans come to the community page and post a question on our wall. One of the administrators then "likes" their question to let them know it has been posted and re-posts it on our timeline so that each of our 13,000 fans can see the question and respond. We also post questions for fans who wish to stay anonymous. Fans can either message us through the page or e-mail us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. with their questions, which we post on our timeline anonymously.

Maintaining the Facebook community no doubt takes a lot of work. I know you have volunteers who post the questions received from parents of twins. Are these volunteers twin moms as well?

Yes. Kristin was added only a few weeks after I started the community and has 1-year-old identical twin girls. Jackie was added October 2011 and has 20-month-old boy/girl twins. These two have helped me make the community what it is today. They are great admins and friends, and I thank them very much for that! I recently added two more admins, Cassandra and Kaynisha, to help re-post questions since the page has grown so large. They are both twin parents as well.

You are a mommy of three, including precious twin girls. As a relatively new twin mom, what is the most helpful or truthful advice you have read or received on "Pregnant with Twins or Parents of Twins"?

The most helpful advice I have been given was to let go with my girls' routine and let everything fall into place on its own. Doing this has helped me get through this year. Without the advice and help from the women in the Facebook community, I would be a train wreck!

What do you find are some of the more popular questions being asked?

I think the most-asked questions are:

  • "What should I pack in my hospital bag?"
  • "How did your C-section go?"
  • "How am I going to manage with two newborn babies?"

There are questions about all sorts of things, but these seem to be the most popular.

I have often noticed very personal or touching stories posted out to the community. Is there a story or experience that resonates with you? And how did the community come together to help?

A woman once joined the community asking everyone for prayers. She was 18 weeks pregnant with boy/girl twins and her waters broke. The doctors stopped the labor, told her she would most likely lose a baby, and put her on bed rest at a hospital over two hours away from her home.

She was basically left there alone. Since the family was low-income, she couldn't see her husband or her two other children. Our Facebook community put together a donation so her family could come visit her.

She went into labor again at 28 weeks, only this time the doctors couldn't stop it. She delivered her twins very premature. Shortly after their birth, the baby boy passed away. I remember feeling so much pain and hurt for her. Our whole Facebook community did. We put together a candle event, and every night for a week people from the community lit a candle at 7:00 p.m. and said a prayer for the family.

Many people who have lost one or both twins are still fans of "Pregnant with Twins or Parents of Twins," simply because of the support. We have amazing fans!

I have noticed you swiftly and appropriately reacting to negative, even flat-out rude, comments that surface at times. Would you like to take a moment to explain your philosophy on posting etiquette?

We feel that fans should get both good and bad comments, but there is a limit to what we allow. We do not allow any bashing comments or anything to make a fan feel like less of a person or mother. We stress to the fans that most of us are from different parts of the world and we are all going to parent differently. Bashing a mother for the way she parents will not be accepted.

We want our fans to feel comfortable posting or asking questions on the page. We don't want them to feel scared that another fan will bash them for asking something they may be too scared to ask anyone else.

If any rude or bashing comments are made, they are quickly removed and the commenter is warned. If we see any other rude comments from that fan in the future, we ban them from the group. Highly disrespectful comments to any fans or admins result in an automatic ban. We're very strict with these rules. These are the same rules I've had since starting the group, and I feel they have helped make the page so successful.

How has "Pregnant with Twin or Parents of Twins" evolved over time?

We now have a private group for our twin mama friends who don't like posting or commenting on the public community page because of Facebook's "tickerbox." You have to request to join the group, but it's completely private. No one on your friends list (unless they're also in the group) can see anything you post or comment on in this group. It is run by me, the same rules apply as on the public community page, and you don't have to wait for your question to be re-posted by an administrator.

We have also created a new website, www.deliveredtogether.com, where our fans can come and create their own forums.

Can you speak a bit about the gifts and challenges of raising your twin girls?

Having two to love truly is a blessing! I feel so lucky to have had my twins. There are two to give kisses to and two to hug. Another great thing about having twins is knowing that they will grow up with a permanent best friend.

The only thing I don't like is all the unwanted attention. We're like a freak show whenever we go out in public, having to buy two of everything. The everyday challenge of doing everything twice was pretty difficult to adjust to at first, but I have grown to love it. I wouldn't change having twins and sometimes even wish my oldest daughter had been a twin! They're so much fun!

Jerrica, thank you so very much for taking the time to share your advice and experience with The Twin Source. But mostly, thank you for creating and maintaining such a rich and dynamic community for twin parents!

Thank you so much for all your kind words. I've become a fan of The Twin Source myself! You have an amazing website. It was a pleasure talking with you!

 


Jerrica Adams is a mother of twin girls plus one. She is the founder of the "Pregnant with Twins or Parents of Twins" Facebook community.

Public Facebook community: www.facebook.com/pregnantwithtwinsor

Private Facebook community: www.facebook.com/groups/pregnantwithtwinsorparentoftwins/?ref=ts&fref=ts

Website: www.deliveredtogether.com

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