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For Daddy

Written by Carrie
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Letting Dads Parent 

I want to state the not-always-so-obvious obvious: Dads are great parents.

"Oh, I know my husband is a great father," you might say. "He is the best!"

But do you allow him to actively be a great father in front of you?

Do you allow him to parent his way? Doing things that you would not? Without stepping in to "correct" or "adjust"?

Because let me tell you, I often do not.

When it comes to the kiddos, I have come to realize that I am a control freak at least 50% of the time (okay, it might be more often than that). Over time, I have learned to let go a bit and have come to realize that my husband, Andy, is an amazing parent. Even though the house might not be kept as clean or the twins might have a few more bumps and bruises due to playing in pillow forts or taking "airplane" leg rides, they are without a doubt taken care of and happy as can be.

It has taken me a couple of years to realize this (that's correct, years). It has been part of the learning curve that comes with being a new parent, and it has brought with it its own challenges. Quite honestly, I had to teach myself to bite my tongue, to back off, to let go, and to embrace Andy's parenting style.

We as a family are happier for it. Our marriage and co-parenting is better for it too.

Just because Andy chooses to handle a situation in a completely different way than I would does not mean that the world will come to an end. So what if my babies don't have the exact day that I had planned for them? I let go and have faith that my husband's morality, great sense of compassion, and loyalty will carry through in his parenting.

I remind myself that I love and respect my husband because of his many great qualities, and that I want our kids to see and experience those qualities firsthand. That can only happen if Andy feels empowered to parent and nurture the twins ... his way.

Andy is truly amazing. His love for the twins and seemingly carefree "Dad attitude," filled with silliness and bearhugs, balances out my need to straighten up messes and plan activities.

And that is what works for us—at least this week anyway!

 


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