Having a career, maintaining your social life, and being a great mom is like a juggling act. To make it work, you need these four things:
1. AN UNDERSTANDING EMPLOYER – To be flexible with your schedule
2. MONEY – To pay people to help you (even people that love you will have to be paid for this kind of insanity)
3. FAMILY/FRIENDS – It takes a village
4. WINE – To ease the pain
I can honestly say that being a mother of twins is just about the best thing in the world. My father told me the other day that the greatest joy in his life has been watching my twins interact and grow together. Twin parenthood is so amazing that I feel bad for people who won’t get to experience it.
That being said, it is hard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Having a career and raising twins is hard. Having a social life and raising twins is hard. Being a great mom and raising twins is hard!
Go the Extra Mile at Work
I am very fortunate to have an understanding boss who allows me the flexibility I need to raise my twins and keep my career. Frequent requests to telework, breast-feed in private, and take time off for doctors’ appointments can tick off even the most reasonable of bosses. That’s why I am so grateful to my boss and my employer for being understanding.
When I’m in the office, I go the extra mile so that my contributions and performance overshadow any concerns my employer may have about my situation.
Budget for Help
Twins are not cheap. Besides the expenses for food, clothing, diapers, and wipes, you absolutely need paid help. Whether you’re planning to hire a full-time nanny or use an occasional babysitter, you simply must budget for help of some kind.
I always knew I wanted to be a working mom and that I would need to hire a nanny. When my twins were born, I had tons of people who were more than willing to come over and give me a hand. But after a few months, that faded. I found myself calling my husband at 3:00 p.m., exhausted, and asking when the hell he was going to get home. Maternity leave felt endless. I couldn’t get back to the office fast enough. Some moms are willing to work just to cover the salary of a nanny.
If you are planning to be a stay-at-home mom, I recommend finding a trustworthy babysitter or local neighborhood kid to help out at least a couple days a week, even if it is just for a few hours.
Don’t let your mother’s old-school guilt get to you—you deserve a break now and then, whether it is to work out, get a manicure, or just take a nap! You will be happier, and you will be a better mother for it.
Just Say Yes to a Social Life
I can’t stand it when one of my girls “goes down.” You know what I mean: She has a baby (or two), and you never see her again. Or, on the rare chance you do, she is talking baby talk and it’s like she is a totally different person! Like she never had a drink before or would even consider busting out that tight black dress, hitting the clubs, and dancing like Michael Jackson in the middle of the bar (shout out to Twin Mom Carrie).
Give me a break! You had kids, you’re not dead. Go ahead and say yes to work happy hours or take advantage of your husband’s annoying black-tie functions. Do whatever you need to do to get out there again and have fun!
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